Not only did we not all ascend to Heaven a couple of weeks ago (or get left behind to suffer unimaginable torment, which is ostensibly the fate of those who play D&D), but the last Dungeon Crawl also coincided with the opening of The Rapture, a new comedy show about being transported to another dimension by supernatural forces.

So of course, that’s what happened to our party of adventurers, as captured on film by intrepid chronicler Rob Young.

While travelling through a wood, our adventurers – barbarian bibliophile Conan the Librarian (Jimmy James Eaton), Gingantulor the part-giant with low self-esteem (Brenna Courtney-Glazebrook), sexually ambiguous hands-on healer Ivana Tuchyorbodi (Karin Muiznieks) and singing wandering man of the forest Tim Bombadildo (Casey Bennetto) – come across an old man struggling to move a large rock. Promised a vague reward of “half of double of two” to help him, Gingantulor easily moves the rock – and traps the party inside a portal to another dimension! The old man has had his soul stolen, and will release the party – and hand over their reward – when they retrieve it for him.

After falling for a length of time long enough to be hilarious, but not quite long enough to be irritating, the party encounter a two-headed dog (half-played by Jess Hutchinson), cousin of Cerberus, guarding a doorway into the realm beyond. Deciding it’s too dangerous to fight, Gigantulor banishes it with the mystic phrase “Who wants a ride in the car?”

Beyond the door lies a vast expanse of nothing, a realm shaped by the will and desire of those who enter it. The party wish for a sign, and one promptly arrives, reading “Green Room”, and pointing to a small green door. Behind the door lies a small wooden-panelled room – occupied by a Beholder! The creature seems not to see too well, but manages to paralyse Bombadildo. Ivana sumons her familiars – a pair of hipsters – to save him, but the spell doesn’t quite work as planned; while Tim is freed, Ivana can no longer contact the familiars. Gigantulor and Conan manage to destroy the Beholder with the help of their companions.

There is a wooden door leading out of the room, and Tim draws on his connection with the forest from which it came to commune with it. It creaks out “fear”, but the party don’t hear it quite right and charge on through – into a realm where they must face their own darkest fears.

Tim is confronted by the horror of non-rhyming words, like “orange” and “purple”, but Conan supplies the works of Dr Seuss and his companions teach him to make up words for rhymes. Ivana faces the disapproving glares of her conservative Christian parents, but Tim drives them off through the power of bad Christian rock. Gingantulor is taunted about her size by tiny Lilliputians, until Conan helps her squash them flat. Conan is driven mad by books that won’t stay on their correct shelves, but Ivana manages to use her connection to hipsters to summon an iPad, where the electronic books can be automatically sorted.

Having passed through this harrowing ordeal, the party finally find themselves face to…well, sort of face with The Collector, a tiny undead creature who speaks through a giant of a man under his control. The Collector intends to add the adventurers to his collection of souls, but Gigantulor tries to appeal to the giant to throw off his oppressor, succeeding by seducing him one semi-giant to another.

The former slave throws off The Collector, and hands the party a locket containing the old man’s soul. Gingantulor unleashes her special “stiletto” move and smashes it open, returning them all to the forest and the old man, where they collect their reward – which they eventually negotiate up to a small bag of gold each.